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I wish, with all my heart and soul that I was making this up, and that this was nothing more than a chauvinistic joke of some sort, but it isn't... So, without any further ado, allow me to introduce you to "Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken"! Yes, that's the actual name of the doll, yes, that's a tacky lime-green rich ass old man from Palm Beach jacket, yes, yes, that *IS* a tiny purse dog that only Paris Hilton could love and then smother to death in a drunken rage.
Of course Mattel, being in the toy business, could never come out and SAY this a rich old man looking for a hot young piece of ass, so they brilliantly devised a naming strategy that would allow them to cover their figurative ass... The little dog is named... wait for it people... SUGAR. In other words, Ken, is SUGAR's DADDY! Brilliant! Instead of being a lecherous old pervert, Ken now sounds like a flaming homosexual, which isn't a stretch really, I've always thought Ken was kind of gay.
The craziest part is that Mattel claims this doll was made for adults and not kids... But seriously, when was the last time you saw a grown person playing with Barbie dolls unless kids were involved? I have a feeling the backlash from this will be so huge that the company will have no choice but to repackage these dolls as "1970's Confirmed Bachelor Ken" and sell them in Malaysia because I highly doubt this will be a success in the US, then again, people do watch reality TV and find Lady GaGa to be music, so maybe I am wrong about this... scratch that, I am probably totally wrong about this... *sigh*
He also comes with "Floral swimming trunks" (He's a closet Ed Hardly) and a pair of Flip-flops and sunglasses as well as a bottle of water, because after all, everyone knows rich people don't drink tap water, they only drink Evian, and the really, really, rich ones drink only baby sweat and breast milk (it's true I swear!).
I highly recommend nobody buy this doll, and if you know anyone that does buy it, I recommend you immediately get them checked into Morons Anonymous. Remember, step one is admitting you have a problem, and if you think this doll is good, for your kids or yourself, you've really, really, got a serious problem.
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