The Great Internet Disconnect!

My humble readers, detractors, and just plain looker-overs, this is a public service announcement! Beginning February 1st, the Gordian ¬ blog will be disconnected for an entire month... Why? Because *I* your humble narrator will be disconnected for the month.

No, I will not be going into seclusion like "The Big Lebowski" did following the kidnapping of his wife Bunny.

No, I will not be on Sabbatical to the Island of Misfit Mascots.

No, I will not be indulging in a month-long crack binge, the cost of which will be offset by selling my PC.

No, I will not be going to Myanmar to rescue kidnapped Christian Missionaries a-la "Rambo".

I will be disconnecting for a month, and going back to the lovely Phone book, telephone, and Car payment coupons to get business done. I will be giving up my Google, my spell check, my online banking, my streaming video, and embracing a life of manual typewriters, library research, and *gulp* I will be taking my (no joke) 8-inch thick copy of the Complete Oxford Dictionary off the shelf if I can't figure our how something is spelled or what it means.

Why? Because secretly, I am a leather-clad whip loving masochist.

Actually no, that shit grosses me out... The reason *why* I am doing this is simple. I have had a computer in my life from the age of eight, and I have been connected to the "internet" since I was twelve, way back in 1992, when most of you wouldn't have known what in the hell LYNX was, or how to browse the web in text form, without clicky pictures... Before the days of winky emotes, when chat was done exclusively over IRC... when if you didn't know how to manually connect to a server, or had a basic working knowledge of UNIX you couldn't even get onto the internet... The latter days of dialup... the halcyon days of BBS'es... Ahhh I wax rhapsodic, forgive me my computer nerd soliloquy, I promise you I do have a point other than making you feel inept at computer use.

The point is that I have been using computers to communicate and gather/disseminate information since the days when a 286 with 640k of RAM and 1200 baud modem was considered BALLER! Over the years, I have become pretty damned good at scouring for information, and augmenting all that I know with all the internet has to offer, and my postulate ladies and gentlemen, is that it has made me dumber. Made *US* dumber. By leaps and bounds...

Some people have asked me why I am doing this, what I hope to gain out of it, what I expect, and how I will deal with the "inconveniences"... at them, I can merely shake my head and offer one simple example of the point I made above, in fact, I will make it to you right now! Tell me... How many phone numbers (that you've gotten POST cell phone [not from your youth]) do you have memorized?

Think about it for a second...

If you are like 90% of the people I have asked that question to, the answer is "none"... To the other 10% quit lying asshole. The true truth is that we all have given our minds over to the computer and to the internet. Even those of us who use it to read literature, or watch chemistry tutorials on youtube, rather than "viral videos" have turned over some very basic functions to the new idiot box, the computer! Such an efficient idiot box, that it will turn even the most intelligent into the aforementioned.

I studied literature, took grammar classes, linguistics, in college... But the other day, just for shits and giggles, I typed a whole page up on my typewriter and checked it for errors. You wouldn't BELIEVE how many errors there were. I believe we have all become far too accustomed to what I call "The squiggly red line" telling us that we are wrong, and giving us a right-click solution to our idiocy. In much the same way Google now finishes our sentences for us, these shortcuts do just what they are intended to do, rob us of the critical ability to reason and retain knowledge. 

During this month, I will have *zero* access to the internet or email. The only exceptions will be work-based, where my blackberry and outlook are more than mandatory... but since I work for one of the biggest banks in the world, believe you me I will not be surfing any recreational sites from work! In other words, if you want to get a hold of me, you'd better have my phone number or my address, and if you don't have them now and want them, you'd better ask before Monday Feb. 1st!

What will I be doing during this month? I reckon I will be more productive than I've been in years, but aside from that I will be writing a book based on this experiment. I will be journaling the trials and tribulations of a tech junkie going through withdraw daily, and I will be making my observations of the world of the connected as one of the disconnected. Honestly, I am very excited, I think this will be a fascinating experiment.

Make NO mistake! I love technology... I have a bad-ass desktop PC that I built from parts myself (as I have been doing for years), I have 2 blackberries, an iPhone, 2 laptops at work, a MacBook Pro at home, a media center extender in my living room, and a chip in my brain that tells me the RPM's of my CPU and case fans while I *SLEEP* I have over 5 terrabytes of storage, the fastest internet connection I can muster, a 5.1 surround system for my computer and a fully integrated music studio in my room connected VIA PC...I am not undertaking this experiment as a detractor of technology, a "hater" in todays retard-lingo, but rather as a lover of technology who wishes to analyze his dependence with an open mind!

It is my sincere hope that I will still have some readers left when I return... though given the fast-paced world we live in, I wouldn't be surprised if my "social network" was dead when I returned! I can only promise you this, I will be returning March 1st, with all new content, and a different view of our connected world! If you see fit to come back and visit me, I will be most happy! Otherwise, perhaps you'll buy my book at your local bookstore... in the 99 cent bin! I kid, I kid!

Until I return, my dearest friends and readers, I bid you a fond farewell! May our paths cross again! Untill March 1st, 2010! I remain, as always, your humble content provider...

-Jorge L. Sosa